|
WHAT EVER BECAME OF TEDDY NOMSKI NOM?
To those of you who may wish to know what became of that objectionable character, from the story A Distinguished Seaman, the one the only Capt Teddy Nomski Nom, self appointed fishermen's leader/spokesman, egotist, womaniser, social climber and concrete skipper.
Rumour had it that after a few more years doing his best to be the scourge of the seas (the northern one in particular) in the final years of his sea infamous sea going career ( I use the term career loosely) about as loose as a Peterhead whores gusset hangs after a busy night.
Now that reminds me of a story about one flatulent ginger haired Peterhead whore by the name of either way chub, of whom it was said, had two nautical gentlemen members of a well known seafaring family from south of that port, adorning nappies and crawling at her feet to gain her grossly sexually perverted favours, the pair later begging her to perform her party piece, that of firing ping pong balls from a certain part of her anatomy into the younger of the pairs gaping mouth some ten feet distant, this of course brought groans of ecstasy from the eldest of the duo.
Enough of this meaningless banter I digress from the story at hand.
Capt Teddy must have thought at least once or twice, that maybe "one day those navy boys will get me, and no way can I be seen to be flouting the law, especially with my social climbing connections at an all time high maybe its about time for a change of career, my dim witted lieutenants can become the fall guys in my ongoing smuggling operation code named-Black Fish, at least that way if it all goes pear shaped I wont end up sharing a cell in a prison hulk ,with my old mates, Malcolm Limping Bastard Magellan and Cue Ball Thomas".
Most of this conjecture is now meaningless as Capt Teddy it is rumoured has hung up his sea-boots in a small coastal town on the east coast of England, somewhere between Whitby (where a number of his co conspirators hail from) and Kingston Upon Hull, a handy place to have his residence the Citadel on't hill built, a position of excellence for keeping an eye out for the defra men.
It is also rumoured that he has summat t 'do with a vessel that should be the safest and best run in the port, but having lied, coerced and contrived, with the help of his square dealer associates, he has installed his prodigy and chum, Commander ,unacceptable behaviour , Mr T Having A Lark, Full -Astern-Into A-Breaking-sea (Another fine vessel put to ill- use!).
This fine old port of which we speak used to be a playground of the rich and famous, one of the local specialities that these people used to engage in was Blue Fin Tuna fishing, unfortunately where there's money you'll find dirt, In this case our old friend, Capt Teddy, Rumours abound of his soon to be published literary masterpiece, that could be framed around the Gentleman's ( does he know the meaning of the words,.Gentleman & Sport ? ) sport of Blue Fin Tuna fishing,
Surely what can he know of the sport?, I hear you say , he wasn't old enough to be personally involved in it, unlike some of our well known and honourable local families, such as Pashby, Williamson, Eves' Plummer, Fletcher, Crawford and several others , who's names escape me for the moment -to name but a few, how will this great work be achieved, Presumably in the same way as the others author tic works of his, by borrowing and embellishing the adventures and life experiences of respectable hard working men who followed their vocation, boldly trying to scratch an honest living from a unforgiving sea.
Some Fishermen unable to earn a living mainly due to, over fishing and rigged markets gave up, the obnoxious Capt Teddy dubbed them "Failed Fishermen" well I eagerly await the release of his latest offering as I and many others will be only too happy to review it, as doubtless all due references will be provided.
Surely Capt Teddy the now, "so called author" will know all about Plagiarism, as` he seems to be an authority on everything and nothing!, (nothing being the optimum word ) there are still those amongst us who do know something of the job in hand.
I can almost hear Capt Teddy say "it's a bugger trying to write books on subjects where all the main players are now dead, only to find that someone is looking over your shoulder" true, tales about the local fishing community have the potential to make great novels of high adventure and daring do, lets see if Capt Teddy can make an honest job of one! (that 'l be a first !).
Languid Otter
|
|
