The multi megaton impact devastated the area sending shock waves and half mile deep earth fractures throughout the heavily populated area causing millions of pounds worth of improvements. Priceless art treasures from Boyes Store and mementoes from Butlins Skegness and the Spanish Costa Del Sol were damaged beyond repair.

A site of historic significance at mere valley used for fly tipping and burning out stolen cars was totally destroyed. Victims on the Eastfield estate were seen wandering around muttering "Way out man" and "Cool dude". The explosive impact awakened a number of the estates residents well before their giros arrived.

Yorkshire Coast Radio Reported that thousands of confused and bewildered residents of the devastated area were heading for Scarborough town centre, where (allegedly) Yorkshire Forwards Super! Super! Pink Peter along with his dastardly compatriot Scarborough's Renaissance Group Fuhrer Nick Failure were feverishly compiling scurrilous data on the mass influx of refugees in an attempt to prove an upsurge on the towns tourist figures, with the intensions of using it to acquire Government or European funding for yet another of their hair brained schemes to put the town on the so called international tourist map, by setting up a company manufacturing souvenir Scarborough glow in the dark chocolate meteorites to sell to unsuspecting international tourists, who they presume will flock to the town in their thousands to see the devastation.

When interviewed one Eastfield resident 16-year old single Mother of four Britney Shakeira Posselthwaite said it was such a shock, my little Chardonnay Latte came running into my bedroom crying, the triplets Korma, Rogan and Josh (who's names reflected their Mothers ill-fated drunken one night liaison with a spotty faced moron who worked in a local Indian take away) were still hard asleep. I was really upset at being disturbed sobbed their distraught Mother, to crown it all I still can't get Big Brother or Jeremy Kyle on the TV.

But all is not lost in keeping with tradition and showing true Northern Grit, certain residents children are still involved in the local traditional sport of harassing and mugging the elderly for their pension money, while the majority of their parents are determined not to be swayed from their everyday occupation of car crime and burglary. Fate has now decreed them a added bonus that of Looting.

So far aid agencies have managed to get relief into the stricken area in the form of 10 000 bottles of Red Bull 12 000 litre bottles of Blue WKD: 4 000 six packs of Belgium Lager. Of course cigarettes cannot be included due to the government health warning that they can seriously damage health.