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                                            The trip to Higherstoft

                                                 
I had been looking forward to the trip to Scarlington, everything seemed to be going well for me. Lil Cloud gave the impression that he was competent, his mate Big Wessie I wasn't so sure about, there was something about his loud brash manner that made me feel uneasy. Never the less I told myself that as long as they looked after me, then I in return would look after them.

Big Wessie found himself a perch on top of the after port side samson post and sat there arms folded, silly hat on with the earflaps dangling like Deputy Dogs ears, while Lil Cloud sat astride the steering gear, pipe in mouth and chart in hand. Lil Cloud was peering at the chart and turning it this way and that "cant make out just which way we need to be" he muttered to himself.

At that moment a yacht drew along side us causing a startled Big Wessie to jump to his size 14s and earflaps erect!

"Just what we need" said Lil Cloud in a relieved tone, "all we have to do is follow him                 downriver."

"Eeh Cloud, tha's gud, and sensible an'all, nah that's just what ah wudda dun" said Big Wessie, settling his arse down again on the Sampson post.
Well I suppose that's one way of doing it, and we followed the yacht downriver until we reached left the estuary and into the open sea.

"Eeeh eyup Cloud, luk at the size o' them waves" I heard Big Wessie shout.
What is this man talking about, I wondered to myself, haven't we just followed a yacht down the river surely it cant be that bad, all there was to be felt was a gentle ground swell and a smart breeze. Well if he wants some excitement I'll give him some, as long as it shuts him up from his incessant jabbering in what is the next thing to a foreign language to me, and don't forget I've lived in Devon and Essex!

Now Lil Cloud was that excited at the novelty of having a wheel of his own all he wanted to do was turn it, first one way and then the other and obviously fascinated at as the compass card reacted. I waited until he was engrossed in his game and just let myself fall that bit further across the wind, scooped up a few gallons of water on my bow and chucked it aft. It hit Big Wessie square on, top to bottom and washed the silly hat off and overboard! I fully expected to be rebuked for this and made to follow a straight course but amazingly they both Lil Cloud and Big Wessie put my bit of fun down to "atrocious weather conditions" with Big Wessie vowing to write a book about it. I could see I was going to have a lot of fun with these two!

Whether wet or not it didn't stop Big Wessie droning on until we reached the port of                     Higherstoft where I was tied up for the night alongside a real lifeboat, Lil Cloud and Big Wessie made their way to the local yacht club who invited them in and offered them hospitality. Now yachtsmen, if Scarlington is any thing to go by, are a certain breed that usually hail from a part of the world known as Cleckhudderfaxfield, close to Big Wessie's roots.

He was in his element as he related his tale of the heroic passage he had just completed, with  Lil Cloud puffing away on his pipe and nodding at the appropriate times. Eventually the hosts could stand no more and put them both in the visitors bar by themselves.

Next morning the yacht club members were so determined to make sure that my two owners sailed on time, that they all turned out next morning at the crack of dawn to watch us go waving in relief as we left.

It was good to be on our way again, but I was having doubts about these two!


                                                                                                       Billy Inkwell Ashtray