My first day in the slipway


At last the day came for me to start work and at 11am'ish Lil Cloud and his mate came aboard, both dressed in scarlet boiler suits and resembling something from the Joe 90 puppet show. My engines were started and off we went to the slipway where an advertising board was erected offering the public a chance of THE LIFEBOAT EXPERIENCE!

Now one thing that I do not like to do is to be made to manoeuvre astern when it makes more sense to go ahead. I just do not like it and I will let it be known by acting up! And that is just what I did to these two clowns when they insisted on backing me into the slipway. The more I resisted the more they pushed and pulled, usually at the same time and in opposite directions,. 

All this was going on under the gaze of experienced seamen who, judging by the laughter and ribald comments, found it amazing that these two had been deemed fit to take passengers to sea when they were unable to display basic boat handling skills. I'm ashamed to say that eventually they did get the better of me, and forced me, stern first into the berth, but only after 45 minutes fighting. This procedure became a daily battle of wills that was to continue for five long years, every day being equally as difficult as this one, though I will give them top marks for perseverance,

The site we were to work from was an established passenger boat-landing place and there were three small boats working from there already, giving 20 minute trips around the bay for just £1. I could hear the boatmen touting for trade at the top of the slipway in the time honoured tradition, and expected Lil Cloud and Big Wessy (him especially considering the gob on him) to be up there doing the same.

Instead they put out a signboard offering trips for £3 and then sat aboard me, arms folded, Big Wessy perched on his mooring post and Lil Cloud looking every bit the part of an old salt puffing on his pipe.

Well I waited and waited and watched the other boats running in and out as they took their turn in the rota system that they used, while Lil Cloud and Big Wessy sat watching, but making no attempt to get any passengers in the manner of the opposition. What a strange pair these two are, I thought to myself, when are we going to get to work?

Eventually four potential passengers wandered down the slipway and gave themselves up, out of pity I think, and instead of trying to get a full complement Lil Cloud started my engines to sail. What a performance this was, despite continuously revving my engines up and going first ahead, then astern,  Lil Cloud couldn't get clear of the slipway. By now my engines were getting as hot under the collar as the two clowns in charge of me, so I gave a few belches of black smoke from my exhausts to let them know how I felt. The passengers didn't think much to this and started to cough louder than I was as they got blacker and blacker, and still Lil Cloud shunted back and forth in the same place.

By now they had attracted a crowd of incredulous spectators, mostly experienced boathandlers, who couldn't believe what was going on. Eventually unable to stand the comments and laughter of his audience any longer, Lil Cloud bounced my shoulder off one of the moored cobles and literally smashed our way out of the area.,

It was Big Wessy though who took the biscuit though as he explained to the hapless customers, "Its very difficult manoeuvring when you have two propellers to think abaht instead of just one, like t'other boats have!"

Never mind, off we go on our maiden voyage!

                                                                                Billy Inkwell Ashtray